The Competitive Drive

I often think back to last year's Lake Monona 20k.  Despite the many half marathons I've ran, I've yet to run one at the same pace as that race.  That was only the third race I had ever ran and yet it has become my goal to run at the same pace but just slightly longer.

I feel like a stronger and better runner these days, but I'm not hitting the pace that I did for the 20k.  Partly I think it's because of the haphazard nature my training has devolved into.  Last spring, I was training seriously for the Madison half marathon.  I wasn't following a schedule, but I ran regularly and did a long run of 12 miles 2 weeks prior to the 20k.  I trained and I tapered.  These days, I run when I feel like it and sort of randomly run a half marathon when I feel like it.

During the Quad Cities Half marathon though, I wondered at mile 10.5 when I let the 2:00 pacer pass me by, if maybe the reason I'm no longer running at the same paces as when I first started running because I no longer have the same competitive drive.

When I first started running, I had no idea what kind of pace I was capable of.  I fully expected to run my half marathon at a 12 min/mi pace.  I kind of thought I'd run a half marathon, and then a marathon at some point and then be done.  Check off the item on the bucket list and move on to other things.  But running into a race creates a lot of adrenaline.  I used to think to myself, "You're in race. You can't slow down!"

But these days, I no longer think that.  Probably because races aren't as novel and perhaps because the foot injury last August put a somewhat different perspective in my head.  When I let the 2:00 pacer go, I had no regrets.  I thought to myself, "it's okay.  I'll catch up or I won't."

I no longer have that sort of competitive drive. I worry about pushing too hard and getting injured.  I don't just want to run one race.  I want to run many more.